During the early 90's, Saigon Kick rose to the charts with their hit,” Love Is On The Way". Drummer Phil Varone, who hailed from Florida at the time, seemed to be on top of the world. He was playing music he loved, and touring the country. Success all seemed to come very easy to Phil, at a very young age. Then egos started to clash, Saigon Kick disbanded and the music scene that once loved metal, turned to Grunge.
In 2000, Phil was given another shot stardom. Phil was asked to join Skid Row on the upcoming Kiss tour. This was a dream come true for Phil, as Kiss was the first band that he ever saw in concert. Things seemed good, until he started to get caught up in the rock and roll lifestyle. As excess off sex, drugs, and roll and roll took their toll on Phil, the once straight kid who loved to play drums was caught up in a full-blown drug addiction. In 2005, Phil Varone left the music business and Skid Row. These days Phil, is doing a stand -up comedy show around town, and giving lectures on addiction.
During his time period with Skid Row, famed journalist Fabio Jaret filmed Phil on the road with Skid Row. The film takes you to the seedy world of rock and roll and the dark side of drug addiction.
Phil Varone has released a documentary of his life and his claim to fame as rock star. It also deals with the dark side of addiction. In this very candid Exclusive interview with Saviours Of Rock, Phil Varone unveils, “Waking Up Dead.
PHIL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHECKING IN TO DISCUSS "WAKING UP DEAD". OVER HOW LONG A TIME PERIOD WAS THE DVD, “WAKING UP DEAD" FILMED? Yes, it was filmed between 2000 and 2004. Fabio Jafet, who did the movie with me, he came out on the road with me, over that time. I also shot a lot of footage with my personal cameras, as well.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RELEASE THE DVD,"WAKING UP DEAD" WHAT WAS YOUR GOAL? I REALLY HAVE TO COMMEND YOU THAT IT IS REAL AND HONEST. IT REALLY DOESN'T GLAMORIZE THE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE TOO MUCH. IT IS WELL BALANCED. IT SPEAKS THE TRUTH AND SHOWS THE PITFALLS OF ADDICTION? Initially, I think the idea of the movie came when Fabio had called me and said, “I am going through all this footage and the touring and the partying and stuff. I really think we can out this together and make a movie out of it." My first reaction, you got to remember too, I am still drinking and doing drugs, my reaction was,” Who would give a shit about this"? But Fabio came from a news background. He is an Emmy award-winning cameraman for CBS and NBC news. He really has an eye for this stuff. He said let me put a trailer together, to see if we have any interest from anywhere. So we put together a first trailer and right off the bat people were like I would love to see where this is going. What is this? As soon as I got off of that tour, and went into rehab. Once I was sober, I said if we are going to make this there has to be a happy ending to it. Basically, it is my experience; it is my life as a rock star, as a drug addict, and my fight and what I have done to try to clean up my life. In the process to this, of my cleanup and my career, I wanted to really show people some insight to the music business itself. Like what it did to me, what it did to my family, the contract situations; because there are a lot of things that you don't know when you are a kid. All you know is there is my favorite band and I want to be a rock star. You don't realize that it is business. So many artists get screwed over with business whether it is in the band, or management or record labels. We wanted to kind of show a full spectrum that goes on in the business. But not
Phil - circa 1990
stand on my soapbox complaining. Because I loved being a rockstar, it was my dream. I am not complaining about it, but I am showing what happened to me. The paths that I took were wrong in many cases. If anybody were to watch this, they would make the right decision, if it were in front of them. This is really what it is. If it were handbook, people would read it first. So that is what we ultimately wanted to really show with the movie and come across like that.
PHIL, I THINK IT IS PERFECT TIMING TOO, WITH THE RELEASE OF THE FILM. HOLLYWOOD, SEEMS TO BE IN CHAOS WITH THE YOUNGER STARS LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS AND LINDSEY LOHAN. PLUS, A LOT OF GREAT MUSICIANS HAVE DIED LIKE FROM OVERDOSES. SO YOU HOPE YOUR MESSAGE IN THIS FILM IS: TO BE CLEARLY IN IT FOR THE MUSIC AND NOT THE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE? Well, yeah know unfortunately you don't have a choice. You kind of get thrown into that scene being a rock star or whatever. It is funny you bring up the celebrities that have gone to rehab. I just did a special for E .It is called,” Out of Control, The Top Ten Celebrity Rehabs. Lohan and Britney and all of those guys are in it. The thing is what every one had to realize about being a drug addict or alcoholic, is that it is a disease. The rock and roll lifestyle maybe allowed me continues to do my disease. But
Saigon Kick (Phil with the mohawk)
in general, I am no different than anybody else that has this disease. I was fortunate to be in a profession that kind of . allowed it. Just like the celebrities are allowed to be drunks and out of control, because they are celebrities. They are rich; people expect them to be able to do whatever they want to doEspecially, rock stars. Rock stars are put up on the pedestal more so than any other profession. I mean actors want to be rock stars. Because we have the key to do anything we want. . You can drink all you want, you can pass out that is cool. I always thought what if my favorite rock star weren’t going crazy and beating up people. That is what being a rock star is about. I think that my profession just allowed my disease to really accelerate. Ultimately, the situation is, I am a drug addict no matter what I was doing. If I worked at, McDonalds I still was going to do shitloads of cocaine. Because that is what I am. My profession just allowed it to continue in a sense and was almost applauding it in a sense, in an odd way.
WOULD YOU SAY YOUR ADDICTION WAS GLAMORIZED BECAUSE YOU WERE CAUGHT UP IN THE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE? There was definitely some glamour to it. The glamour side to it is always hanging out with rock stars and super models and partying and having a good time. That is the glamour side to it. The problem is, it is not fuckin glamorous for me because I ended up by myself in my house for three days with the curtains drawn and tin foil on the windows doing tons of cocaine by myself. There is nothing glamorous about that. It started out as a glamorous thing; you are hanging out with all of these celebrities, then all of a sudden you are just bottom of the barrel now. You are just an addict in a corner; no one gives a shit who you are.
I AM GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP. WOULD YOU SAY THE HOLLYWOOD/ROCK STAR SCENE KIND OF HAS THE FLEEING FRIEND SYNDROME? ONCE YOU ARE ON TOP OF THE WORLD EVERYONE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND, THEN WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR STAR APPEAL AND MONEY THEY FORGET ABOUT YOU? I don't think that is true, because there is a lot of addicts that are sober now that are doing great. I think if you are still partying hard and you are out of control and you can't do your job, I think you are going to be frowned upon. But then again, I think that holds true for any job you are in. I listen to many great people in meetings, because I am in the program and I hear them. These are great people. They are not only celebrities, important people in high jobs. And then there are people in everyday regular jobs. Bottom line is that when you let drugs run your life or alcohol it is going to be bad, eventually it is all going to be bad. That is exactly what happened. I think that some important situations and certain professions fuel the addiction and allow you to really get away with a lot more because you don't have to be so responsible. I worked a half hour a night, or 45 minutes a night then I just had to pose with pictures and sign autographs. What kind of fuckin job is that? (Laughs) So I could do tons of cocaine and drink a bottle of Crown Royal. I am a functioning addict. But there is many people that go to jobs stoned and drunk and all of that stuff too. So I just don’t want to glamorize the fact that being a rock star makes you a drug addict because that is not the case. All that did was allow me
Skid Row days
to explore and experience a lot more things than if I was an architect. Which I originally wanted to be. There is no prejudice to the drugs and the alcohol. It doesn’t matter, who you are. It is just a disease that we have.
HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THE E SPECIAL? They asked to do the show. I have a good friend of mine at E. They were putting this special together and she knows that I went to rehab, so they wanted to get my insight to rehab and celebrities out of control. It is just interview stuff.
WAS THE TURNING POINT IN YOUR LIFE THAT MADE YOU WANT TO BECOME CLEAN AND TURN EVERYTHING AROUND? I think it is hard to say. For me it was just like everyday I was going to kill myself. Thats really what it boils down to. I know it is hard for people to understand that, it goes a lot deeper. A lot of us that are drugs addicts and alcoholic, we self medicate and we cover our problems. What I am taught to do now is break down my problems and really analysis them and use the tools to get past the problems. I didn't have these tools to do that. So my initial reactions were, if
Live with the Skids
something bad happens I want a lot of cocaine. Or if something bad happens I am drinking. That is what we use to do. The turning point is basically, you are sitting there, and I just get a call from a very close friend and they let me talk and listen and immediately got me helped.
HOW IMPORTANT WAS IT FOR YOU TO HAVE YOUR FRIENDS IN THIS DOCUMENTARY? I REALLY ENJOYED THE COMMENTARY, BY THE WAY. It is very important to have those guys, because ultimately when the dust settled they are still standing there for ya. That means a lot. Because a lot of friends weren’t standing there. I didn't expect them to. Because, I was a bastard, I was out of control. I have done some bad things to people. I deserve to have them not as friends. But you can only make amends to them, and you can only do that. I don’t live in the past any more. I try not to look in the rear view mirror at all. I live everyday. I live by the moment. I don't plan much these days, because I just live for the day. Outside for basic stuff like shows, I don't make plans. I wake up and get my day started. I only hope that I get through the day in the best way I can. Everyday that I am sober is a great day. It doesn't matter how much time you have. I've heard this from somebody, who had many, many years. He was sober for 23 years and I said,” Well what do you do when people ask you how long you have been sober?" He goes, you know what? "That doesn’t' fuckin matter. Today I am. That is all that matters." That is how I live. Because you start putting time on things, you lose track of how important it is to be sober.
Waking Up Dead trailer
How delicate we are with this disease. That you can go at any point.
ALSO, YOU HAVE SOME MUSICAL GUESTS ON,” WAKING UP DEAD" INCLUDING YOUR FORMER SAIGON KICK BAND MATE MATT KRAMER AND JOHNNY SOLINGER. HOW DID THEY GET INVOLVED IN THE PROJECT? This was another cool thing about doing it. I said to all of my friends. I am doing this movie; I would love to have your music. Matt Kramer, from Saigon Kick, who in my opinion is one of the greatest talents out there, He should be huge. To me he is the undiscovered Morrison. He is just one of those guys that I have nothing but great respect for his talent and ability. Matt and I wrote a song together for the movie. It was really cool to work with Matt again. He is one of my best friends then we used some of the music from the distributor, a company called Demolition Records. It is a record company that bought the "Waking Up Dead" DVD. We used some of their new bands, as well. We had Temple of Brutality, Crease, Johnny Solinger, who is the new singer for Skid Row, also gave us some music as well. It was cool to have them involved. We used another band Mindflower that I was in actually for a time before I joined Skid Row. The music really worked underneath these scenes. So it wasn't like we were doing them a favor at all. They did us a tremendous favor by letting us use this great music.
WOULD YOU SAY YOU SCORED EACH CHAPTER TO FIT THE BOOK? It is really hard. I am going to be 40 this year. To put the 40 years, into 90 minutes is really tough. We wanted to do the best we can and not bore the shit out of anybody. You kind of want to give a quick overview of everything that happened. We touched on a few things. I left out the fact that my Mother passed away in 1998. At the end of the movie, there is In memory of my Mother. I didn't cover all the basics. I have been doing lectures. I speak about a lot of things that are not in the movie. I am actually planning on doing a college lecture tour. I want to show what my life was and try and get to the kids. I didn't die and I don't know how I didn't. (Laughter) I always tell my friends, I am here for some reason. I am trying to figure it out. Because there was way too many close calls. I believe it is to help people. The
Phil : comedian
one thing that I learned very fast in the program, when people share their experiences there is a point when something clicks, and you go Wow that is me. That kind of defines the fact that you are an alcoholic or a drug addict. I think, if I go to these colleges and speak to these kids and tell them about the things that have happened to me, I just need to have one of them go, "Maybe I am that"? Maybe I need help. Instead of sitting up there going drugs are bad kids. Everyone knows drugs are bad, but everybody know cigarettes are bad too and they smoke too. We know things are bad, but the things that usually turn people are when they hear an experience that they are totally connected to. Maybe I should get some help before I die. That is what I ultimately want to do. If I get to one person, then I did my job and we will move on to the next.
DID THE MOVIE EVER HIT THE THEATRES?
No, it never went to theatres. The running joke with Fabio and me was, if the drugs didn't kill me the movie is. Because once we go the movie together, doing the deals and making it all work was another hard thing for us. A lot of people kind of got weird with this move. So, we never did the theater run. We just didn't have the right backing to do that. Instead, we found a really good company in Demolition. We just wanted to get the DVD out. Right now it is out in the U.S. and it came out around the world October 29th. I think when it comes out in Europe and the rest of the world; I think we are going to see some excitement with it.
HOW DIFFERENTLY DO YOU SEE THE WORLD TODAY, AS AN ARTIST CLEAN AND SOBER? DO YOU FEEL, AT YOUR BEST NOW?
Things are just a lot clearer. You can really make lucid decisions now. Instead of being clouded as I call myself a rotten brain. It is rally nice to see everything sober. Everybody is drawn to you. Nobody wants to be by the miserable drug addict. It is funny, everything that I have been doing in life, now I am doing sober. It is almost like a learning process again. Also, when you deal with life. It is still life. So there are ups and downs. The idea is to handle the down side in the right way, and not get loaded because you are depressed or sad that something happened to you. That is the fun part about it that you can come through this and still stay sober and deal with the problem. A lot of the times it will just end up going you’re way anyhow. That is the good part about it, not to mention that sex is a lot better. I had to get that in there. With cocaine, if you do a lot of cocaine you can't have sex anyhow. So that is my new addition, sex and coffee. Now I am just trying to figure out how to keep the coffee mug on the girl's ass, if I can get that down. (Laughs) I am kidding of course. Then you understand, why I am single? (Laughs)
Waking Up Dead
MOVING ON TO SKID ROW: WAS IT HARD LEAVING THE BAND IN 2005?
It was really tough. Those were my buds. I had so much fun with these guys. I had so much fun playing the music and recording and touring. It is funny because, I am really at a point in my life now that I am actually picking up some drumsticks and having some fun again. Not joining a band, but just playing. When you get bitter, and you have all of this resentment towards the music business, you don't want to play your drums. You don't want to play what you grew up dreaming of. It is sad that you would give up your dream over all of this stuff. So I am really getting antsy to play again. In the meantime, I am having fun with my comedy show. I do miss playing. I do miss touring; I just can't do that right now. I just don't have it in me to get out on the road and stay sober. It would be a tough situation.
DO YOU STILL KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THE GUYS FROM SKID ROW?
Yes, Snake lives in LA. I see Snake quite often. The rest of the guys here and there. We are just leading different lives now. I always wished them the best of everything. We put together a great record together with the "Thickskin" record. Snake comes out to my comedy shows. I do see him around.
WHAT ABOUT SAIGON KICK? ANY CHANCE OF A REUNION IN THE FUTURE?
Matt and I did some Saigon Kick shows. We used some other players. Because the relationship there is pretty much severed. It is really tough. We went through some tough times with Saigon Kick. Back then we were younger; the hurt goes a little deeper. So I don't ever really see an original reunion. Matt and I have done some shows together, we have done a little bit of playing together here and there with Saigon Kick, and separate stuff. You never know? I don't really close anything off. It would be a shock, to get the original Saigon Kick back together. That would be a friggin miracle. Matt did my Sex Stand Up and Rock and Roll show. That show I use to do over at the Improv here on Melrose. I love to play with Matt. We did this project together with the movie, anything is open.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR COMEDY SHOW?
My comedy show is called The Sex, Stand Up and Rock and Roll show. What I do with it is I put 3 elements that I love. Which are sex, comedy, and music. We do it a little differently than most comedy shows, because here in LA especially the fans are jaded. Because, you can go walk into the Laugh Factory and you can see all of the top comedians in the world playing right at your door step. So I think that in LA, especially we needed to do something different to get people's attention. So I came up with the Sex, Stand Up and Rock and Roll show. Before the comics come out, I have a musical guest do a couple of songs acoustically, then I come up onstage and I just host in between the comics I give out gift bags full of adult toys, and porno and clothing. It is on a raffle system. Usually, I have porn stars come out and give the bags out. It gives us a whole variety of things. Then we have the A-list comics come up, and then they just crush the room with comedy. It is working really great. We are actually putting that together for a tour of the U.S. We are going to do rock venues with it. We are not going to do comedy clubs. We have an agent on that now. We are really looking forward to some dates coming up at the end of the year and the beginning of next year. It is going to be a lot of fun. I have been doing that for a year now at the Improv in LA. Now it is ready to hit the road.
HOW WOULD YOU SUM UP THE 80'S? IN THE YOUR DOCUMENTARY YOU LIVED THE ROCK AND ROLL DREAM?
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That is the epitome of the 80's. 80's were the time of Hair, chicks, good music, and the drugs. I mean that is what it was. When grunge came in, it just ruined everything. There is no reason to be a millionaire and be pissed off. I don't see that. 80's were a fun party time. 90's were just a dreary time. I really miss the 80's and that is what I grew up in. That is what I will always remember, those good times and having a blast. I tell yah, a lot of those people haven't forgotten. When we went out on those tours, with Poison and stuff and there are 20,000 people a night screaming their asses off with smiles on their faces, and their fists in the air and having some fun. I know they are out there and they will stay out there. We are hard core, us 80's fans. We are not going anywhere. It is a lot of fun.
PHIL, THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN WITH SAVIOURS OF ROCK AND DISCUSSING YOUR MOVIE FOR THE READERS? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY? I really want to thank all of the fans. I get great fan mail, and emails from these fans and friends, after they have watched the movie. It is just really nice, it makes everything worth it. It makes everything that I show on the movie, totally worth it. I just want to thank everybody for his or her support. I do hope everybody will pass the word around and we get this movie out and about. Because, I do believe it has a message, outside me trying to get rich off of it. Because, I am not. I am already rich from it. I am rich from the information that I am able to give and help people. I just want to get the word out. I want to thank everybody for his or her support. I really appreciate it. If I can help one person, than it was all worth it. THANKS TO PHIL FOR TALKING WITH SAVIOURS OF ROCK. HE'S A GREAT GUY AND WE WISH HIM ALL THE BEST FOR THE FUTURE. GO CHECK HIM OUT AT
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